In the days leading up to taking the first step I kept thinking of the spies who were sent out to survey the Promised Land who came back very discouraged, convinced that they were no match for the giants in the land. "Oh Lord" I prayed "let me not feel that way, give me courage".
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.
Do not be terrified; do not be discouragd, for the Lord your God
will be with you wherever you go.
And for a few days that is exactly what I do. I walk confident in the promises of God and in the assurance that this is indeed the plan and GOD will make a way. Then the forms come, the financial statements are filled out and my analytical brain says there is NO way we are right for this. We don't have debt paid off, we need a better paying job, we need more savings and I see the ocean swirling around me and NOT the face of Christ. This is the part I hide. My faith is sure and strong, these doubts must belong to someone else! I pride myself in believing that what people see in me IS the real me, I'm not ashamed of my faults because I know that in Christ they are forgiven. But that lack of FAITH , it belongs to me too!
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other
so that you may be healed.
The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
It always amazes me how God speaks through my children's devotional time. Part of our homeschool curriculum is a daily Bible lesson, and though I have heard the story of the little children coming to Jesus many times it spoke to me in a new way today. In my doubting moment it brought peace and comfort.
"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them,
for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.
I tell you the truth,
anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God
like a little child will never enter it."
Let me have the faith of a little child, to believe with all my heart in your promises. To believe without restraint or hesitation simply becasue of who you are, not because of who I am.