But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord.
Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone
who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.
But do this with gentleness and respect.
The other day I was standing at my sink doing dishes when I realized how filthy my microwave was. I wrung out the rag I was using and got to work on the stuck on food. It occurred to me what I had written on my planner last week: a giant x over the day before our home study interview and visit. Needless to say that didn't happen and to complicate things even more our refinance signing had gotten moved to that morning as well! What on earth was I doing cleaning out the microwave? Our social worker was coming to interview us, not question this kitchen appliance. This is probably a good thing given the state it was in and the lack of attention and care it receives! I was compelled to finish what I had started, but it did get me thinking.
If you read adoption blogs you are sure to hear at some point about the adoptive parents getting the house ready, spic and span to be gone over and deemed fit for the future adoptive child. We even did a little mini re-do in our bathroom. If you had ever seen our bathroom, you'd know why. In truth the home is only a part of what the social worker considers in the approval process of a homestudy. She considers the husband and wife, the stability of their relationship, the other children in the home, parenting styles and values and the ability you have to welcome in a new child.
I truly believe that God has been leading this whole process and given that our home is never a total wreck, why was I focusing so much on the outward appearance rather than preparing my heart and what I would say? I wish that I could tell you I sat right down, pouring over the pages of my Bible and quieting my heart before the Lord. I continued to clean and straighten and silently turn my thoughts and prayers to God.
Ironically enough I woke up that morning unable to talk, I was a raspy mess, with a heavy burden. Not only did I have to sign documents, clean house and prepare for an interview, but my uncle who had suffered a heart attack earlier in the week was scheduled for open heart surgery that day to remove four blockages. I could not help but think of the promise given to Paul "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." God had shown me that I was weak indeed, but as Paul said in response to Jesus "For when I am weak, then I am strong."
If I had it to do all over again I would spend more time on my knees in prayer than on my knees cleaning!