Friday, May 23, 2014

When You Feel Completely and Totally Overwhelmed

I miss my writing.  I miss putting my thoughts down and sorting out my feelings with words.  And I miss keeping track of what is going on in the Robbins household through journaling.  Perhaps it is not that I am too busy, but that I would choose not to remember all of these days.  Now I am not so sure that is completely true because I know in my head that even in the trials of life we need to be able to look and remember how God has guided us and seen us through.

There are just so many things I want to share and to tell of the ways God has held us and provided for us.  At the moment my husband is preparing to go on a summer mission trip with our church.  He has grown us and stretched our idea of his provision.  This trip has taken both time and money, both of which seem to be in short supply around here, but yet we open our arms wide and say, "God use this for your glory."  He has given us wisdom to turn down a volunteer job for Chris, working in an area he is passionate because God has said, "not now."  He has also planted the seed for Chris to return to school in the fall.

In between teaching school and chasing a toddler I have been listing items on ebay and selling Norwex as a means to bring in a little more funds.  Sales are not exactly booming, but it does help fill in some gaps.  God loves to provide just enough for us, it keeps our hands and eyes ever postured towards his provision and great supply.

And then there is the ick, the struggle and the everyday life that makes it's way through the beautiful places that I have not totally figured out how to turn from sorrow to joy.

Do you ever feel like it's just one struggle to the next?  One thing after another with no break in between?  The enemy stands opposed to any growth of our faith and any desire to surrender to our Lord's will.  He stands ready to attack any chance he gets to thwart the plans of God's people.  He apparently has not read the end of the story.  He doesn't win!  He doesn't succeed and God finishes him once and for all.  Too bad he hasn't caught on and given up as easily as I do sometimes.  My spirit, the Holy living spirit that God has put in my heart rallies me on, but my flesh easily gives in to fear and doubt. 

The struggles continued and peace was hard to find.  I delve into prayer and scripture, begging God not to let go when I was too weak to hold on to his promises.  You can know in your heart that they are true and moments would be fine, and then just like THAT you are swimming in fear.  What a reminder of how fallen we are and how desperately we need God to carry us!

On one particular day I grabbed my Bible clenched it into my chest as if giving a bear hug to God.  I had no other place to go to find peace, but there.  Making my way up to my room and my big comfy chair I asked God to lead me, to show me a part of his word that I could cling to that day.  And like he ALWAYS does, he provided.

He provided peace.

He provided hope.

He provided assurance of his sovereignty.

The next day a huge thunderstorm came through our area bringing with it hail and lots of rain, but just as quickly as it rolled in, it passed and the sun came out.  And not only did the sun reappear, but a rainbow.  This rainbow was different though.  Looking out my front door I could see the beginning and the end.  It was displayed in all of it's glory right in front of my house, for me and my family.  I am thankful that God does not grow weary in reminding us of His promises and His faithfulness because I don't know about you, but it seems I need a lot of reminders!

I would love to share with you my list of scriptures that God is using in my life right now.  Maybe you are struggling too.  Has the enemy set up camp in your backyard?  Does the truth look like a muddy mess right now?  Are you under spiritual attack?  Don't feel crazy or alone.  The battle we are in is very much real, but truly we fight with better weapons!

Psalm 64
Romans 8:28
Psalm 1
Psalm 145
James 1
Matthew 5:1-12

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